Balance

“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” is not our future

Yeah, this ain’t about work/life or veggies/cookies or Netflix/HBO. This is ye olde anti-tipping-on-your-ass physical balance. And it’s yet another thing sneaky peri is slowly taking from us.

So here are the basics on balance (and we’re only talking sober here. After happy hour, you’re on your own):

Our sense of balance is a magical combo of visual, muscular and vestibular (inner ear - look, you learned something!) info that keep us upright. And it starts to decline in our fifties. After age 65, 1 in 4 Americans has a fall each year and it’s the number one cause of injury and death for older people.

As we plow through major, disruptive perimenopause symptoms, it’s easy to sideline the small things. But like with UTIs, this isn’t just an occasional annoyance that you can ignore. It’s way harder to get back than to maintain it.

Fluctuating estrogen can affect balance in a lot of ways (stuff about blood flow to the inner ear, yadda yadda). Here are a few so you can freak out and shout “I HAVE THAT” in an efficient way:

• Dizziness aka vertigo. Bad sleep, stress, all the usual suspects also increase the likelihood of vertigo

• Hearing loss (especially in the left ear for some reason). Certain frequencies aren’t registered and we don’t just mean “whining we don’t care about”

• Tinnitus, the constant ringing bell that tolls the end of humankind that no one else seems to freaking hear or find the political will to do anything about. Oh wait… checking… just the ringing bell part

  

Shameless Action

Sorry, we’re recommending yet another doctor’s appointment. If you like your PCP, tell them before your annual check up that you want your ears and hearing checked. Some offices have the equipment so you don’t have to schlep to a specialist. If you notice any change in hearing after a bad cold, definitely get checked. It could be the sounds-cool-but-is-seriously-not Labyrinthitis.

Here’s a fun self-check. If you have kids, do this with them so that they can laugh at you.

• Can you stand up from a chair without using your arms?

• Can you walk backwards? (Go slow, baby girl.)

• Can you balance on one foot for a minute?

• Can you walk heel-to-toe in a straight line for at least 10 steps? Again, for sober testing only; call us if you want to practice the other kind

(Did the kids make fun of you? Little assholes, we love them so much.)

For the long-term, we’ll be a broken record and tell you to lift some heavy weights. You can’t have balance without muscle. Even if your ears are fine, you’re much less likely to fall over if you do squats on the regular.

Next time: Say AHHHHH. Something’s going on in your mouth