Overwhelm

What? That smoking pile of to-do lists over there? Oh that’s nothing, just my burnouthahahahaha

We’ve reached newsletter #8 if you’re keeping track. We are because each one is a wee angry butterfly we’ve unleashed on the world. Save the world, little butterfly! Or destroy it, that would actually work too. 

Let’s check on the big picture.

No, you are not imagining it:  life is at an extremely high level of difficulty right now. Like Simone-Biles-double-back-layout-with-a-half-twist shit.

We are all carrying some level of trauma. Maybe from childhood or relationships but don’t forget the Chaos Cake everyone got a big slice of:  the pandemic. We perfected survival mode in 2020 (and 2021 and what year is it now?) and that meant pushing through even when it was too much.

We started the habit of getting self-soothing dopamine hits wherever it’s easiest: watching ALL of Netflix or scrolling for hours on social media. A lot of us began gaslighting ourselves (“If I can just get through next week, everything will be fine”), or choosing numbness, forgetting what brings us joy. 

What does this look like? It’s hard to relax or enjoy a meal. We want to read a good book but don’t have the attention span. We multitask when we’re supposedly relaxing –  anybody else scrolling on their phones while watching tv? We feel restless, preferring to be busy rather than have time to ourselves. For god’s sake, half of us aren’t even using all our vacation days!

Self-care is either short-term retail therapy or feels like another item on the to-do list. Yup, there it is:  grocery store, call mom’s dermatologist, ENJOY LIFE AND RELAX DAMMIT, email the school counselor about college recs.

But even badass Simone Biles had to step back and take a break. Let’s talk about what you can do…

Shameless Action

Reminder:  pick one, pick none, talk about it with a friend, use this however it’s useful.

Identify your points of joy, no matter how small:  the sweet corn in your salad, the softness of your cat’s ears – and let in the sensory enjoyment. Can you take five minutes to be present in something you enjoy? Being fully present in an experience, believe it or not, can let the cloud of overwhelm settle—even if for a moment—and allow you to not only experience that ease but also gain some clarity on what matters most in the next moment.

Get rid of “Everything will be better when [I make more money, when I lose 10 pounds]” and replace it with trying to make the moments better. Dishes piled in the sink? Busy day tomorrow? Sure, but that’s Mary J. Blige on the radio so you gotta dance. Consider small ways you can make your experience more enjoyable (a podcast while running errands? exercise with your funniest friend? sit in your fave spot while making all those phone calls?) and incorporate them! Happiness isn’t waiting for perfection; don’t postpone it.

Broken record moment:  everything is connected. What you eat, how you sleep, how you move. Small changes, people, small changes.

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And now for a humble request:  the Substack algorithm doesn’t put us high in the search results unless we have engagement – aka likes and comments. Right now, when someone searches “perimenopause dumpster fire help now WTF”, Substack will show someone selling “seed cycling kits” (NO, btw) instead of us. Tragic, we know. So we’re adding a completely low-stakes ridiculous question if you feel up to answering. Or hit the heart button, whatever works. Just trying to let the angry butterfly go farther; your help is appreciated!

Question:  Favorite food to eat directly from the fridge? Don’t wash it, don’t cut it, don’t care.

Next time:  In case you couldn’t guess, next up is stress. (Oh okay, now we’re rhyming, that’s cool.)